This post, to me, is my turning point. Where I continually lay out my path, my learnings, my moments and my mess ups. Authenticity has always, and will always, be at the forefront of my being. Not only how I carry myself but in the way I write and how I’m perceived online.
I haven’t been authentic on instagram. I haven’t been sharing the real moments. I’ve been caught up in it, even through I tried to diverge from it, I couldn’t fully commit – until now. I’m not quitting instagram, but I’m rephrasing how I use it. I can’t
keep up with continue to post curated images, edited photos and process thoughts through scheduling tools because to me, it isn’t filling my authentic self. Let me back track a bit. I am part of a pod on instagram; one I have been in for many months now and these women are FANTASTIC, hard working, genuine and loyal friends. We have so many times our pod was just lifting each other up, giving advice, cheering each other on – I love these times, and truly enjoy these ladies. Even though the idea of the pod isn’t something I’m sure resonates with me yet, the authenticity of these women means a lot to me. So for starters I had to share that; we’re in a pod, would someone normally with a 60K following comment on my photos- no; but do I think she gives a shit, yes – so I’m going to keep on keeping on; just in a different way.
I have to stop giving a shit about every little thing. I care WAY TO MUCH about my ratio of followers to following. By caring so much about my ratio, I’ve missed on some amazing content, and my feed was getting overrun with things I wasn’t passionate about. My ego was getting filled when friends would say “your photos all look professional”; but you didn’t see the 25 photos before that, or the edits I put on them, or the anxiety I had before I pressed done. Well that’s out the window now, sorry my feed might not look as nice, but it’ll be a hell of a lot more authentic than it was once.
There is also so much about me that I haven’t shared. I’ve been obsessed with keeping this mom blog theme; but my real, core passion is around sharing anything that is uncomfortable, hard, or something that needs someone to have a strong voice. So my concept might change as I continue, and that’s ok. Do I have to figure out my theme…? Well, my theme will now be labelled ‘realism’.
TRUTH. The other day I did this followers loop thing because I wanted to get 30 new followers in a couple minutes, as soon as I was done, I felt weird about it. So then I had to go back and unfollow people who I truly didn’t know at all, didn’t connect with their message and wasn’t excited about seeing on my feed. In that moment, I realized I was way too caught up. Many people on social media, buy followers. I know this isn’t private news but every time I say it, I get this crazy look on my face. Spending their money to buy followers, truly- it happens all the time. Let me make a point; this is my feeling, my views. There are people who have made a livelihood off their social media game, with instagram playing a large part in that, and I am all for that! For them it makes sense to look at the aesthetic value of your feed, edit photos, use scheduling tools- it is work like anyone else.
But for me; knowing it isn’t my path is what has caught me off guard, wondering why I was pretending to be in this game that I don’t even want to be in.
I want to blog, I love writing and this is where I’ll be reinvesting some time. So if you’re a blogger, connect with me, and let’s see how we can make this world a little bit more fun.
Anyways, I’m quitting the game, making new rules and bringing back my joy of instagram. See you in the real world.