thou shalt not sleep.

as our sweet, sweet little man was getting closer to that four month mark, my anxiety was growing and growing. I had read about the four month sleep regression, and our already not so great sleeper was about to hit a major milestone. well he hit it- and in true Aboud/Verdun form, he hit it hard, fast and yelling as loud as he could. I mean come on, we have to remember this is my child we’re talking about, the more dramatic the more Aboud.

around 3 1/2 months it just happened. one night he woke up every 90 minutes and would take about an hour to put back down. And then when i would put him down in his crib, which just the night before he was sleeping in, he would act like I was putting him in hot lava. Instantly alert and screaming. That night was terrible. I cried in the nursery room- I felt like we were back at newborn status here. The next morning I somehow made it to an exercise class, where Lincoln cried obviously unless the teacher held him (Thanks Lauren!) and I was so exhausted that I hardly remember being there. I’m pretty confident I fell asleep when we were doing side plank- at least that’s what I’m telling my love handles. The worst part is, and definitely NOT encouraged, he fell asleep in the car. Normally I’m fine with this but I knew he needed a really good sleep so I wanted to keep driving, but lets not forget I was on about 3 hours sleep. So I drove for an hour to different drive through coffee shops, just to keep him asleep. This guy- he’s being treated like a King.

Since then (that was about a week ago) it hasn’t really been a whole bunch better, except now we just skip the part of fighting him in and out of his crib and he has come back into our bed. We worked so hard on getting him out of bed, into the bassinet, and from there into his own room that I basically felt like a major mom failure. How can a 14 pound baby take up so much space? He seriously sleeps like a starfish right in-between us, and we end up on the edges to make sure he has enough room. He is definitely sleep deprived too and has gotten more cranky during the day than usual. He doesn’t want to go down for naps, and if he does they’re super short. The whole thing is the pits.

I’ve been asking a whole bunch of you for sleep training methods. I’m heading to Miami in like 30 HOURS !!!!!! and then home for a couple days, then taking the little man to Ontario – so the only consistent thing I’ve read is to wait to start training until you have an uninterrupted 2 week period at home. so we’ll wait until mid April; Lincoln will be 4 1/2 months by then anyways which is a good age (most literature says under 4 months may be too young for strict sleep training, but you can definitely instil good habits, and between 4-6 months is an ideal time) So I’ve been reading & reading, some lovely mom friends sent me their programs, and there’s just so much material. A lot of methods are similar but they’re all somehow unique. I have also come to terms that I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it, so I think we’re going to hire a sleep consultant for support. I was incredibly surprised to find a couple in Halifax- usually these niche things are only found in larger cities. We’ve contacted a few and I am eagerly waiting to chat and find out what our first & next step will be. I know that I will have an easier time going through the process if someone is there to text and talk to that has the experience- so for me it will be money very well spent!

Here are the two Halifax consultants that I found and think will be great:

http://www.babysleepright.com

http://www.babysleepmd.ca

I know all my pictures of Lincoln make him look like just the best little peach on the block and it makes all your ovaries go crazy- but trust me, this guy has some lungs and loves to use them. The sleep thing is not only physically exhausting but has probably been one of the most emotionally draining times of motherhood. This is a clip I sent a friend that I was going to have babysit, and then had to cancel because he has just been so unpredictable. This is real motherhood, it’s not all cute outfits, baby giggles, kisses and snuggles; it’s having a baby cry right into your face and you have absolutely no idea what to do.

 so wish me luck. for the sleep and for Zack ;who is taking over full dad duty starting very soon. (come for visits?) I will be in Miami with the girls, breasts hard & full of milk, tummy burnt because it’s being exposed for the first time in a year and a half and messy top buns because I’ve forgotten how to do anything else.

xo