okay or 3 if you count Zack, who is basically a big kid.
One month into life with two – how’s it going? I think the word to describe it right now is survival. I keep reminding myself it’s an adjustment for everyone; and it’s not going to look the same as it was before. There are a lot of changes, a few similarities and a whole shit ton of emotions. Hopefully by reading this you can be a little more prepared than I was.
Here are the 5 biggest things I’ve learned:
- Quality over quantity – because I’m breastfeeding right now my time with Lincoln is limited. When I’m with him I try to do something special (go to the playground just the two of us, read a few books, even have some heart to heart talks). 20-30 dedicated minutes is better than a few interrupted hours when I’m half listening.
- All emotions are real and valid – Lincoln has high highs and low lows; I’ve been calling him Jekyll and Hyde lately because he can switch so quickly. He has pushed boundaries, told me to take the baby away, and even during our quality time asked for daddy and told me to go feed the baby (cue tears!) But I try to remind myself we are all going through this transition, he’s not trying to be a bad boy or rude but he’s still learning to express himself and his whole life just got thrown a curve ball. So know that’s coming- you may or may not encounter it – but if you do, just take a deep breath and try to talk it out (or walk away).
- Re-prioritize – We’re pretty organized people over here; I’m someone who likes doing laundry, we don’t mind making beds, putting away toys – but when you bring home a newborn, get your mindset ready to shift and adjust where and how you spend your time. Making sure two kids and yourself have what you all need is more important than the grass getting mowed.
- Communicate – this should have been the first one. Pre and post pregnancy with Lincoln I kept a journal of my thoughts, frustrations, all the things; but I didn’t share any of it. How is that going to help? If you have a partner at home, if you have family helping you out or an older child, make sure you talk about how you’re coping. Share what you need during the day. If you partner is at work and you’re on parental leave, don’t feel like you need to ‘do’ a whole ton during the day. Take care of the babe, soak it in, go for a walk – do whatever you need. If you get resentful (talking personally here) about your partner having kid free time – tell them! Figure out what works – *something special coming from Erica at mom.break on how to keep that relationship thriving*
- Coffee and alcohol are true forms of medicine – but really; give yourself a break. Yes I will be starting my post partum journey soon so maybe I’ll cut back on some of the treats; but for now, while I’m in the early stages of figuring it out, I need to know there’s a cold cider waiting for me in the fridge. Stock up on some of your favourite treats (yes these can be healthy!) because you will be on the go. I couldn’t believe how quickly I was out and about with Lennox because Lincoln isn’t just going to sit at home and wait around. He needs to be active too – so get stocked up and ready.
Here’s to the next month of survival!